If you asked me on Friday if I thought I would finish in under 3:15 I would have confidently answered, "No question about it!" Ask me again today and I will say, " I will be lucky to finish."
2 great speed work sessions followed by a miserable long run and another struggle on a tempo run. I am not surprised I didn't have a great long run. I realized going in that I was less than 36 hours removed from a gruelling track workout and wasn't alarmed when I felt sluggish to start our 22 miler Saturday. I eventually found my grove but something still seemed wrong when I felt tired before the halfway point. I struggled on just doing what I do best, surviving but definitely not thriving. And then after the last water jug I did the unthinkable - I had to stop to walk during a training run! This has happened before a few times, but never this far into my training.
I had time to think about what went wrong now that my group had long since passed me by and what I came up with was my poor diet the previous week coupled with my lack of rest so soon after such hard workouts. This just reinforces my belief that I need to eat properly and gets as much rest as I can (at least for a month before the race, for both!)
Robyn is in a lot of pain and after discussing it we came to the conclusion that we are both going to need a lot better communication and patience if we are going to get through this. I was often oblivious to the obvious and then often times would or put off things if I did see (such as I still haven't got around to sealing the crack in the cement in the back of our garage that I noticed last summer) and Robyn has realized that she needs to start voicing things that give her pain instead of fighting through everything full steam ahead. I have seen a lot of great runners but I have never met anyone as much endurance, pain threshold, and sheer strength as her. She has the ability to take more pain with a smile on her face than anyone I have ever met.
Quote of the day: "Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." - William Faulkner (must be related to my wife)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Robyn's injury
My wife had it confirmed that she does indeed have a fractured collarbone from the muscle pulling in opposite directions on it. There is really nothing they can do for her that she hasn't been doing already, try to to the spasms as much as possible. This is when it gets tough, what she should do is take a week off to spend in a hospital bed to recoup but when she has the kids, work, the kids school and dance, and I have work and running training on top of the usual house and yard work for both of us it doesn't leave much time for dystonia. I feel so helpless as a caregiver. The main thing she can't do is lift anything remotely close to heavy so I am taking the laundry upstairs (and even washed and folded it this weekend).
Oh I did have something funny happen to me Saturday afternoon. I was getting Amber's bike out so we could have all the kids (3, since a friend from school spent the night and was still around) and dogs playing in the church parking lot next door when a door-to-door salesman came and asked me if my parents were home. I gave him a puzzled look and just said no. I am 38 years old! I have no idea what he was thinking? Then that would have made my 4-year old daughter my sister! I have always been told I look very young but this was ridiculous. But it gets even more humiliating, he came back and asked they were home yet! I almost said, "Yes, mom it is for you and let my wife get it," but we had sharp knives close by! I think he realized he made a mistake when he came back but was too embarrassed to correct himself.
Running training was a "down" weekend - 16 miles and flat yesterday and 4 more today. I needed the rest my legs were still hurting when I ran my 9 on Thursday, they didn't hurt yesterday but did feel sluggish. Then today I was doing 4 easy so I took 2 of the dogs. 2 Miles in Clancy was scared to step on some plastic on the sidewalk and awkwardly jumped in front of me. I toppled over him luckily only suffering a skinned knee, elbow, and shoulder. It was a little ironic that it was Clancy because JoJo is going nuts over the squirrels and kept pulling every 2 blocks it seemed to go after them. I should be at full strength by Tuesday's 5K time trial.
Quote of the day: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I like." - Winston Churchill
Oh I did have something funny happen to me Saturday afternoon. I was getting Amber's bike out so we could have all the kids (3, since a friend from school spent the night and was still around) and dogs playing in the church parking lot next door when a door-to-door salesman came and asked me if my parents were home. I gave him a puzzled look and just said no. I am 38 years old! I have no idea what he was thinking? Then that would have made my 4-year old daughter my sister! I have always been told I look very young but this was ridiculous. But it gets even more humiliating, he came back and asked they were home yet! I almost said, "Yes, mom it is for you and let my wife get it," but we had sharp knives close by! I think he realized he made a mistake when he came back but was too embarrassed to correct himself.
Running training was a "down" weekend - 16 miles and flat yesterday and 4 more today. I needed the rest my legs were still hurting when I ran my 9 on Thursday, they didn't hurt yesterday but did feel sluggish. Then today I was doing 4 easy so I took 2 of the dogs. 2 Miles in Clancy was scared to step on some plastic on the sidewalk and awkwardly jumped in front of me. I toppled over him luckily only suffering a skinned knee, elbow, and shoulder. It was a little ironic that it was Clancy because JoJo is going nuts over the squirrels and kept pulling every 2 blocks it seemed to go after them. I should be at full strength by Tuesday's 5K time trial.
Quote of the day: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I like." - Winston Churchill
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
"They're not applauding you"
I am listening to a very interesting book now, "90 minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. He was in a horrific car accident and and his story is relevant to mine in quite a few ways such as he didn't ask or sign up for this it was thrust up him. Piper went on front of his church and received a huge ovation for which he was quite embarrassed during the ovation he heard a little voice say, "They're not applauding you" and that relaxed him and he said only 4 words, "you prayed, I'm here."
Like almost everybody with dystonia, I feel very uncomfortable in the spotlight. I never quite no what to say when people say the I inspire them. I get that quite a bit and never fully understand it. I try to be kind and gracious, I usually say a simple "Thank you" but to me that sounds odd or not quite right. Maybe that's why the line "They're not applauding you" struck such a chord. When people say I inspire them, it is more what that person is seeing than anything that I am doing intentionally.
On the training front: had 2 great workouts this week. On Tuesday we did a 5K time trial, this is a little odd but I didn't know what I could run a 5K in. I have done only 4 5K's in my life:2 were unofficial time with only a clock at the finish and I have long forgot those times, 1 was 15 minutes after I finished a 10K where I was focused on my 10K time, and the last was this past spring I ran the Irish Jig in East Grand Rapids where I got stuck near the back of the pack. So I had no idea what I could if given a fair shake. Well , it turns out I did a very respectable (at least in my mind) 19:36. I was the first to finish which meant I for the last mile I kept looking and wondering if I was going the right direction and where is the finish line, so that may have added a few seconds. With my sense of direction I could never win any race, if I wasn't following people I would surely get lost. I could see me losing the Boston Marathon because I took a wrong turn!
And then to finish up some of us ran back the way we came instead of going the mile or so to complete the lake loop. I got into a nice rhythm and was feeling good, my return time couldn't have been far off my 5K time except we had to go another quarter mile past where we started. I know I ran hard beauce not only was I a little sick to my stomach, my butt even hurt! After a hard run I get "runner's tummy," where I don't feel like eating anything. The harder and longer the run the longer the feeling lasts, up to 5 or 6 hours. Which is why the food after a marathon is such a joke. The one thing I did find very hellpful after a race is ice cream. They had an ice cream tent set up at the Bayshore Marathon this spring and I had 3 bowls.
Thursdays workouts were 8 - 800's (half mile). After nailing these I am much more confident I can finish the marathon in under 3:15. My goal at the start was 3:00 to 3:05, but I wanted to keep them steady and not have 1 or 2 at 3:12. I ran the first one in 2:56 and the next in 2:53. he second was way too fast for me but 2:56 was reasonable but the question was could I keep it up? 4 more and I was still hitting 2:56 but now I was pretty much running alone. I was running with 4 guys at the start but 1 fell off after 2 sets and another stopped after 6 and the other ran the 800 in college, he was only a few seconds faster but took off like a jack-rabbit. The last 2 were tough but was amazed to see the time when Icompleted each was 2:56. I had to keep sayig to myself long, smooth strides. When you get tired stride length is the first thing to go then your form soon follows, so the last 2 I found myself saying it more and more.
Quote of the day: "They may forget what you said, but they will never gorget the way you make them feel." - Carl Buechner
2 tempo runs?
I get my DBS turned back down to where it was before my last appt. now the day after my marathon, since I will be in town I might as well. I should have left well enough alone instead of try for better results with my voice. History has taught me that was about as good as it was going to get. When they voltage gets to high I am constantly on edge causing me to be irritable, and my voice actually gets worse. If the voltage is turned up way too high my entire body want to curl up in a ball and I absolutely cannot speak. I am guessing it is what being hit with a police taser feels like. This will also give me an excuse to stay in Chicago for another day.
In training yesterday we did 2 4 mile tempo runs. If you know what a tempo run is you know how insane this is! This was one I am REALLY glad I did with a group. The first lap of the lake (4.25 miles around) I was going along, no one else near me from .5 mile to 2.5 miles then I see Mike, who will finish the Chicago marathon in about 2 hours and 50 minutes, flying up behind me and I try to keep him in my sights. I actually gained a little ground on him before we hit a hill and I fell behind but was proudly staying about the same distance back until a half mile to go or less and he put it into another gear that I just don't have. I very happily finished in under 27 minutes.
After a little rest and water we went and did the same course in reverse. Again we started with a group of about 5-6 runners and I started pulling away after half a mile then I saw Christian up ahead and set him as my goal. Chris is also quite a bit faster than me but he has been fighting injuries. I did manage to catch him at 2 miles but that only woke him up from his cruise control. He slowly pulled away from me but I could still see him so that gave me something to shoot for. I was absolutely stunned to see that I had run within 2 seconds of my first time (one was 26:46 and one was 26:48 but I forgot which lap was faster). I definitely have Chris to thank for that second run and Mike for coming along at just the right time in the first run.
Quote of the day: “Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark
Twain.
In training yesterday we did 2 4 mile tempo runs. If you know what a tempo run is you know how insane this is! This was one I am REALLY glad I did with a group. The first lap of the lake (4.25 miles around) I was going along, no one else near me from .5 mile to 2.5 miles then I see Mike, who will finish the Chicago marathon in about 2 hours and 50 minutes, flying up behind me and I try to keep him in my sights. I actually gained a little ground on him before we hit a hill and I fell behind but was proudly staying about the same distance back until a half mile to go or less and he put it into another gear that I just don't have. I very happily finished in under 27 minutes.
After a little rest and water we went and did the same course in reverse. Again we started with a group of about 5-6 runners and I started pulling away after half a mile then I saw Christian up ahead and set him as my goal. Chris is also quite a bit faster than me but he has been fighting injuries. I did manage to catch him at 2 miles but that only woke him up from his cruise control. He slowly pulled away from me but I could still see him so that gave me something to shoot for. I was absolutely stunned to see that I had run within 2 seconds of my first time (one was 26:46 and one was 26:48 but I forgot which lap was faster). I definitely have Chris to thank for that second run and Mike for coming along at just the right time in the first run.
Quote of the day: “Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark
Twain.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wrecked
I am completely wrecked after the 22 mile run Saturday on the rolling hills of Ada, MI. Every muscle in my legs where in absolute agony, from about mile 15 til now. At one point I said, "Why are we doing this? We're running the Chicago Marathon."(a notoriously flat course whose largest hill is about 20 feet). It got so absurd that we got to the top of one hill and me and 3 people I was with all audibly moaned because another sharp downhill lie ahead. Once your legs are this sore running down a steep hill hurts worse than running up one.
I ran 5 today and I think that helped speed the recovery some. I was more sore after this 22 than the last but I feel much better 36 later than I did last time so that is encouraging. Oh, and another positive thing was that my despite my legs being extreme sore they never cramped up during my run, the calves are what especially worry me. I think the calve sleeves are working! I did cramp up once after the run when I tried to sit down in the parking lot afterwards, one calf cramped up and one muscle in my thigh of the opposite leg. I was unsure about them when I bought them but I will definitely be wearing them come October 11.
After running a hilly 22 I went home and had to mow the lawn and get ready for the extended family. I will show you photos later but we had 14 of us in all. My aunt brought her grandson from New Jersey, might be East, East Pennsylvania she just moved so I am not quite sure, very close to the border anyway, just north of Philadelphia. We also had my other aunt and uncle from Chicagoland, whom were gracious enough to invite our family in for the marathon. Actually they are so nice and we have stayed there so often we pretty much invited ourselves and I just notified them! Also in attendance Saturday were my parents and my cousin and her husband.
Quote of the day: "If the leader pushes, I will go with him, even if I die by the roadside." Rodgers Rop, on winning the NYC marathon
I ran 5 today and I think that helped speed the recovery some. I was more sore after this 22 than the last but I feel much better 36 later than I did last time so that is encouraging. Oh, and another positive thing was that my despite my legs being extreme sore they never cramped up during my run, the calves are what especially worry me. I think the calve sleeves are working! I did cramp up once after the run when I tried to sit down in the parking lot afterwards, one calf cramped up and one muscle in my thigh of the opposite leg. I was unsure about them when I bought them but I will definitely be wearing them come October 11.
After running a hilly 22 I went home and had to mow the lawn and get ready for the extended family. I will show you photos later but we had 14 of us in all. My aunt brought her grandson from New Jersey, might be East, East Pennsylvania she just moved so I am not quite sure, very close to the border anyway, just north of Philadelphia. We also had my other aunt and uncle from Chicagoland, whom were gracious enough to invite our family in for the marathon. Actually they are so nice and we have stayed there so often we pretty much invited ourselves and I just notified them! Also in attendance Saturday were my parents and my cousin and her husband.
Quote of the day: "If the leader pushes, I will go with him, even if I die by the roadside." Rodgers Rop, on winning the NYC marathon
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Life with dystonia is never easy or boring
My wife and I are both having Dystonia issues, I mean more than normal! Robyn much worse than me, she had Botox last but her back is constantly sore and she is in serious pain all the time. She is contemplating trying the drug Neurontin for some more relief. Her head, which she can normally hold still with some effort, has become too much and started to turn and go back. So much so that she even broke down and wore her soft collar neck brace at work yesterday. She NEVER wears this in public.
It is ironic because I desperately want off Neurontin as well as Klonopin. I normally take 1 pill of each with or just after breakfast, yesterday I tried no pills and I didn't really notice any difference until the evening when we went out. Then it was more difficult to speak and I was jittery but there was something else, I don't know how to describe it, like there were voices in my head or more static really. When I would talk with someone it was like the voice was saying, "don't make of fool of yourself, get out of this conversation before you look like an fool." Instead of being even remotely focused on the other person it was all about me, trying to appear as normal as possible. I couldn't relax and have an enjoyable talk with someone I didn't know. Luckily my family was there and I could focus on them. This solved 2 problems, I was able to focus on them and take care of what they wanted while also keeping me occupied so I wouldn't have to have adult conversation. I am also up too high with the voltage on my DBS, I need to see my dr. and get back to where I was before the last adjustment.
Training: I ran 5 miles hard Monday night, felt great finished in a very respectable time for me, 34 minutes. Since I was going to miss the group workout I tried taking the kids to a local school that has a play area right next to the track. I planned on doing 6 1000's, 2 and a half laps each. I skipped the two mile warmup opting for 2 laps instead. Was shooting for under 4 minutes for each 1000. I did the first one in 3:43, I was stunned, but also a little concerned because I had 5 left and knew I couldn't repeat that 6 times. I fell back on #2 to 3:48, probably where I should have been at for #1. It was hot and humid and I had to stop at 5 with no 2 mile cooldown. I will have to make that up Thursday. I shouldn't have run so hard the night before.
I love my wife! Despite all her pain and head movements she is repainting our bedroom ceiling. After I ran yesterday I scraped some more of the old popcorn ceiling off and there was just a little bit left that I couldn't remove. She pushes it hard all the time and wants everything to be perfect by Saturday. We are hosting a family function with relatives from Chicago and New Jersey along with my parents and grandparents. Bless her heart!
Quote of the Day: "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. " - Erica Jong
It is ironic because I desperately want off Neurontin as well as Klonopin. I normally take 1 pill of each with or just after breakfast, yesterday I tried no pills and I didn't really notice any difference until the evening when we went out. Then it was more difficult to speak and I was jittery but there was something else, I don't know how to describe it, like there were voices in my head or more static really. When I would talk with someone it was like the voice was saying, "don't make of fool of yourself, get out of this conversation before you look like an fool." Instead of being even remotely focused on the other person it was all about me, trying to appear as normal as possible. I couldn't relax and have an enjoyable talk with someone I didn't know. Luckily my family was there and I could focus on them. This solved 2 problems, I was able to focus on them and take care of what they wanted while also keeping me occupied so I wouldn't have to have adult conversation. I am also up too high with the voltage on my DBS, I need to see my dr. and get back to where I was before the last adjustment.
Training: I ran 5 miles hard Monday night, felt great finished in a very respectable time for me, 34 minutes. Since I was going to miss the group workout I tried taking the kids to a local school that has a play area right next to the track. I planned on doing 6 1000's, 2 and a half laps each. I skipped the two mile warmup opting for 2 laps instead. Was shooting for under 4 minutes for each 1000. I did the first one in 3:43, I was stunned, but also a little concerned because I had 5 left and knew I couldn't repeat that 6 times. I fell back on #2 to 3:48, probably where I should have been at for #1. It was hot and humid and I had to stop at 5 with no 2 mile cooldown. I will have to make that up Thursday. I shouldn't have run so hard the night before.
I love my wife! Despite all her pain and head movements she is repainting our bedroom ceiling. After I ran yesterday I scraped some more of the old popcorn ceiling off and there was just a little bit left that I couldn't remove. She pushes it hard all the time and wants everything to be perfect by Saturday. We are hosting a family function with relatives from Chicago and New Jersey along with my parents and grandparents. Bless her heart!
Quote of the Day: "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. " - Erica Jong
Sunday, August 23, 2009
We went to downtown Zeeland Saturday for Dog-o-rama! It was a good time and the girls loved being out. Can you tell? Robyn had to leave before I got back from my run so she only took JoJo, the German Shepherd, along with the 2 girls, anymore would have been too much to control. Besides, we weren't sure the other 2 dogs aren't quite ready for a public gathering like that yet but we all went to the dog park today and I do think the other 2 would have been just fine. JoJo was looking rather somber there but she doesn't like cameras so that may have been a big part of it.
When I got back from my run I showered and rode my bike down there. I found the kids in the bakery with "Old Grampa" (their nickname for my grandfather). Zeeland Bakery has the best Chocolate Fried Cinnamon Rolls in the world (Maybe I can get a few free for the shameless plug!) so I had one, I showed great restraint in not getting 2 or 3. But the star of the day was JoJo and her award winning tail! She won second prize in the longest tail competition, see the top picture to fully appreciate the punishment it puts on our vacuum cleaner.
The training run was at Fallasburg Park. If you scroll back a ways you will find pictures of that hilly terrain there. Even though it was our down weekend (14 in between two 22 mile runs) it was a fairly tough workout. No river plunge this time for me, had to get home for Dog-o-rama.
I am still a little worried about my calf muscles holding up for 26.2 miles. I can't think of any more I can do. The calve sleeves seem to be working. The reason I am still worried is that last time I didn't have any problem during any of the training runs either. I guess the only thing I can do now is to continue training properly and pray for good legs during the race.
Quote of the day: "Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." - Voltaire
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